Tonight's Top Story

Tonight's top story--

An American woman went off the deep end and began throwing grapes at the teenagers on the rooftop across from her building. Apparently the teenagers had been incessantly shooting firecrackers for hours on end and it was began to light her nerves instead of the sky. When one firecracker soared off the roof and hit a car below, causing the car to stop and park illegally so the driver could yell at the teenagers, all the traffic came to a standstill. As all who live in this area know, such double parking leads to many cars honking.

Sources tell us that the honking drove the already irritated woman more and more towards the brink of insanity as the fireworks continued despite her grape throwing efforts.

Then the unthinkable happened! One of the firecrackers went askew and landed on the woman's balcony!

What would an American woman in culture shock over the noise of her expatriate country do in such a situation? The firecrackers and honking certainly would drown out her screaming for the shooting to stop. She doesn't believe police exist in this country, since they certainly don't do anything about the speed demons and double parkers and all other forms of traffic violators, so why would they do anything about teenage boys shooting firecrackers onto her balcony? Throwing grapes and screaming and calling the police would do no good. It's enough to drive anyone insane, really.

Sources tell us she laid on her couch with pillows over her head, kicking her feet in a total tantrum hoping the noise would cease.

This journalist believes if she had worse ammunition than grapes, she would throw them down at the rooftop below her balcony, at the perpetrators of noise crime against her otherwise tranquil home. We'll keep you updated with the latest on this story.

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