September 27, 2007
Warning/Disclaimer: The following post is a venting from a wee bit of culture shock or just annoyance or whatever. It will probably be negative and sarcastic and possibly ethnocentric. You who drive in your cars, usually alone or with people you like, on a regular basis, please grant me some grace.
So there are some unspoken rules of public transport round these parts. They are the polite etiquette that we 5 million people who ride the Metro, train, buses, and tram on a DAILY basis tend to follow to show respect to the other 499,999,999 people riding alongside us. And when people either don't know the rules and therefore don't follow them, or DO know the rules and deliberately don't follow them, some of us get annoyed. And I was one of the annoyed today, after several of these were broken. If you ever come to Paris, please try to remember these things.
1. If the Metro is crowded, move as far away from the door as possible to allow others room to get on. There is always room for one more. Especially if you would just move over one little inch.
2. If the Metro is crowded, and you are in a foldable seat, please stand up with the rest of us, so that when the Metro turns, we don't fall in your lap. Much as it may please you, teenage boy, I don't want to sit in your lap.
3. If the Metro is crowded (are you seeing a theme here), please don't lean against the pole that all 30 of us would like to use to keep our balance. If you back is taking up three feet of the pole, that's about 10 people who have nothing to hold on to. And we don't want to pinch our fingers against your back or hold the pole over your head. I know you'd love it for me to wrap my arm around your neck to hold the pole, but um...I'm just not interested, thanks.
4. If the Metro is crowded, and you are right by the doors, please step out of the car when the door open to allow those who are behind you room to get off. We promise to let you back in the car first if you show the courtesy to step off for others.
5. It doesn't matter how pretty you think my blue eyes are, it is not polite to blatantly stare at me for 8 stops. Look at something else.
6. If you are 15 or younger, you may not know this, so let it be known: making out on the Metro is not okay. I know you must be confused, because making out seems to be accepted everywhere else in public places in Paris, but on the Metro...you should just hold hands and giggle and say sweet things to one another. Save the kissing for a park or something.
7. When riding the escalators, if you're going to stand there and talk to your friend, stand to the right, and stand on separate steps. The left is for those of us who might be in a hurry and therefore want to climb the stairs.
8. If you are a man, I'm told you guys need to sit with your legs spread way apart. Okay, whatever. But if you are sitting with a woman directly across from you, it makes us really uncomfortable when you sit like that and slouch so that it feels like our legs are um...well, in between yours. We're strangers. Please sit up straight and um, imagine it was your mom or your sister sitting across from you, and sit how you would then.
9. Yes, it is oh-so-cool that cell phones now can play your mp3 music over their speakers, and yippee for the young generation who has recreated the boombox-on-the-shoulder phenomenon of blaring music in public. You know what? All of us old people who remember boomboxes didn't like hearing loud blared music in the 80's, and we don't want to hear your music nowadays. Look around you. Have you noticed the rest of us with little strings coming from our ears to our pockets? Those are earphones. They allow me, and only me, to listen to the music I want to hear. You can buy them at FNAC.
10. Tourists. Oh dear, sweet tourists. Yes, we're so happy for you to come to the #1 city in the world for tourism. I do hope you have a great time in this city. But here's a little tip: people in this city understand English. So when you decide to trashtalk Americans or Parisians, or whoever, you might want to consider that the person sitting right smack next you can understand every word. Thanks for utterly offending me tonight.
Now that I've got that off my chest, I'm going to sleep. I do love the Metro. Just not the line 13.
4 comments:
Ugh. Sounds like you must have had a "bad" time indeed. Being me, my first thoughts were "lets solve this with some good old fashioned violence" but then I realized that probably would break another rule :-) hahahhaha.
Tazers are always fun though. [it is probably a good thing I don't have to deal with humanity that up close and personal]
Amen, to all of the above comments about lovely public transportation system in Paris. Guess if you stick around long enough you find the good with the bad. Haven't we all had days or nights like that one! Guess it is the price we pay for living in the city of lights.
Haha! I love your list of rules! My favorite was about the making out on the metro- I second that for city buses. I take 2 buses to get to work everyday- and it doesn't fail that I get on one of them where sitting straight infront of me are two lovely people who I just want to yell GET A ROOM! And they aren't 15... try 22!!
11. If you are going to slouch in a seat across from a girl with your legs open, wear briefs.
OR, sit next to her and mug down far away from Soj.
12. Men, be polite and give up a seat for an older lady. It gives the rest of us hope that gentleman do exist today.
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