Kisses

Lydia and her husband have been gone since December 15th, and I've been feeling lonely with them gone for the last couple of weeks. She was my main buddy at school and it's been kinda boring without her around. On Tuesday, Mary (the married girl with a baby who came late to my Christmas party) approached me at school and told me that Lydia still wasn't back from her country. Apparently I'm not the only one who misses her too!

Well, on Thursday, I walked into school after the lunch break and there was Lydia's husband talking to one of my classmates. I then had a very funny moment, but I have to explain three cultural things first.

1. I never talk to the Muslim guys at school, except for, on the rare occasion, Lydia's husband. If they are in my language class, and I see them on the street in town, I nod an acknowledgement to them. But they're always in groups at school, and I just don't want to even appear to be flirty, so I don't say a word to them. Not a word.

2. It is absolutely 100% not normally acceptable for mixed genders to talk about sexual things. Just no.

3. In France, people give kisses to say hello. So it's totally normal to say, "Give someone kisses for me." Kisses, plural. Not kiss, the verb.

Let's name these two guys Ahmed and Abu. Ahmed can be Lydia's wife. Abu is my classmate who I have never once spoken to, even in class, much less outside of it.

So I walk into the building and see Ahmed and Abu talking. I am THRILLED to see Ahmed, because if he's in France, his wife must be too...and that means I've got my friend back! I joyfully walk up them, completely forgetting my American manners as well as my Arab cultural ones.

Interrupting their conversation, I greet Ahmed and welcome him back to France. He explains that they got in late last night, are very tired, and so Lydia stayed at home to sleep, but she will return to school tomorrow. I then say in French, "Tell Lydia I said hello."

Ahmed had been out of French for a month, and obviously was a little groggy to get back into the swing of another language. He gave me a confused look. Oh friend, I've so been there.

I repeat very slowly, "Tell Lydia that I said hello." Ahmed still looks lost.

Abu repeats it in Arabic super fast, and then we all laugh that Ahmed finally understood the simple phrase. Feeling a little awkward now, I walk over to the elevator, adding as a goodbye, "And give her a kiss for me."

Ahmed, who loves his pretty wife, grins and says, "Can I give her two kisses?"

I laugh and say, "Well, give her three two from me and one from you!"

Abu, quick to the punchline, jokingly adds, "And what he does after the third kiss is his business!"

ACK! I scurried into the elevator I was so embarrassed...because normally such jokes are not said in mixed company. But I'm still giggling over that one.