How I Learned to Ask Men to Help me

Do you ever have one of those embarrassing moments when you think, "I'm so glad that no one saw that happen?"  Or how about when you think, "I am so glad there are no cameras pointed at me right now?"  No?  Well...you're weird.

I usually think something like that when something happens, and unfortunately for me, during an extremely embarrassing moment the other night, not only was it in front of 20+ people, it was also captured on film.  Gah.

Here's what went down.

It was a appreciation dinner for a very special group of people.  We were all dressed up.  I enjoy having a good reason to dress up, and I was sporting a new dress, high heel shoes, and make-up.  Watch out world!  I was already a little embarrassed upon arrival, because even though I showed up 5 minutes early, the entire rest of the group had shown up 15 minutes early, and thus...I was the last to walk in the room.  ACK.  I don't want that much attention, nothankyou.

Well, the sun was shining through the window directly into my friend's eyes.  There seemed no way to fix the problem until we realized that the large potted tree by the window was on wheels.  Someone suggested that we just roll the plant over a little bit, and the tree would be blocking the sun from my friend's eyes.  Easy enough solution...until one of the people at the table went to get up to do it.  She's in her 50's, and I just thought, I can't let her push that big potted tree!  There wasn't a man at our table, or I would have asked him to do it.

I'll admit that it never crossed my mind to ask a man from another table (in our group), or to ask the server.  The American-Go-Getter in me just thought, "There is a problem and I am able to fix it."  (Or maybe the sinner in me thought that?  Gah...why does everything come back around to that?!)  So I stood up, walked over to the pot, and began to push.  

Right as my hands touched the pot, I see a man's face leaned over looking right into my eyes...and he was thoroughly amused.  It was one of the servers.

I stood up straight and barely squeaked out in French, "The sun was in my friend's eyes."  But this guy was such a ham...he ate up the entire glory moment of my foolishness and cheekily did something (I honestly can't remember what, I was so horrified already) that got the attention of the entire room.  Everyone was staring and many were laughing.  

By this point I was so embarrassed I truly wanted to crawl under a table and die.  There I was all dressed up like a grown up in my high heels and make up, and you know what I did?  I closed my eyes, covered my face, and counted to five, hoping that by the time I was done, he'd be gone.  

I suppose the cameras came out during that moment, because several pictures were shown to me later of my face covered and the moments afterwards.  I opened my eyes, uncovered my face, looked, and sure enough, he was waiting patiently for me to acknowledge that he had not gone away.  Instead, he had moved to be right by my side.  

He stepped in even closer.  He very demurely whispered to me, "Why didn't you ask me to move it for you?"

I whispered back in a barely audible voice, "Because I didn't know you were there."

With a twinkle in his eye, he grinned as he said, "I'm here now."

Eating my humble pie, I responded, "Will you please move that tree?"

He graciously did as everyone kept laughing at the strange scene.  All they'd seen was me moving a tree, and me covering my face in utter embarrassment and then him hamming it up with me afterwards. I scurried back over to my table and wished, again, that I could crawl under it.  All the women table asked me why I didn't listen to them when they'd told me he was coming.  Apparently they'd told me this as I was standing up, and the sound of the chair moving had covered up them warning me to wait until he was gone.

The rest of the night, he'd come over, lean in, and whisper things in my ear like, "How are you doing?  Is there anything I can do for you?  Do you need anything from me?"  Gah.

For reals: all dressed up, and instead of feeling pretty and special, I make a complete fool of myself.  In front of 20+ people, who all laughed at my foolishness.  And captured it on film to help me remember it forever. 

It could only have been worse if I'd fallen over in those high-heels and landed face first into a pile of goo.