Facing the Marriage Inquistion

Roommate has had guests this weekend who don't speak any French, which has been good (albeit challenging) language practice for me. One of them, who I'll call Maureen, was particularly taken with me and would come sit on my bed and force me to try to understand her. She refused to let me holler down the hall for Roommate to come intercede--I mean translate.

Maureen came into my room today to offer me some of the strawberry juice that Roommate had just made from some frozen strawberries.

"It's too cold. What is your Roommate trying to do--make my teeth fall out?" I laughed and motioned for her to wait a little bit for it to warm up.

She asked, "Why aren't you married? Do you have a boyfriend?"

I geared up for the Marriage Inquisition. I get asked these two questions nearly every single time I meet someone new here.

"No, I don't have a boyfriend."

"Do you have one back in the US? Did you have one before and you two broke up? WHY don't you have a man?"

Well, one can only answer, "I don't know," so many times before beginning to feel stupid, helpless, and somewhat trapped. I explained that no, I don't have a boyfriend back home, and no I didn't have one before. That I've actually never had a boyfriend.

"Don't you like men?"

"Yes, I like men. But..." ARG with the language inabilities.

"Are the men in America stupid? Are they blind? You are beautiful. You're an airplane. You're just so sweet. Really, a girl like you should be married. And especially at your age...your baby making time is here, you know."

How do you say ARG in Arabic?

"ROOMMATE!!!" She came down the hall laughing that she was going to start charging me for translations. Before I could ask her to translate what I wanted to say, Maureen repeated her diatribe about my singleness.

Roommate raised an eyebrow and asked me English, "Did you understand any of that?"

"Yes, and I also understood when she said that your strawberry juice was so cold it would make her teeth fall out. Will you please tell her that it has not been God's will yet for me to marry, and that He and I both are very aware of my age."

She translated everything I'd said, which made them both howl with laughter that I'd caught the part about teeth falling out (apparently I wasn't supposed to repeat that back to Roommate), and then they proceeded to talk about how I'm shining here, which causes them to be mystified by my singleness.

Well, I've been mystified by it for years. And honestly, I'm beginning to feel really weary of it. How does one gracefully answer the questions, "Why are you still single? It's clear there's nothing wrong with you, so what's wrong with all the men in America for allowing you to remain single? God wants people to be married, so why would He keep you single?"

And how does one answer those questions gracefully in Arabic? Instead, I sit there, feeling stupid, and keep saying the one phrase I can say really well. "I don't understand. I don't know." I know that with time, I will be able to answer the Marriage Inquisition better in Arabic. The language will come, and perhaps the answers will too. Maybe even the grace.

But it'd sure be easier if a MAN would come instead, because then I wouldn't even have to face the Marriage Inquistion.