The Teeth Sucking Woman

When I found out I'd be coming to Besancon to return to French language school, I thought I'd be living in a hotel. There's a hotel that partners with the school to house students, and I've stayed in that hotel before, and some friends of mine who'd been students there had lived in the hotel. But then, two months ago, the Chef told me that some local friends had found a great apartment for me to stay in instead. So for the last two months, I thought I'd be staying in an apartment while in Besancon.

When I arrived, I ended up checking into the hotel, because the apartment wasn't ready yet. And since the hotel was already completely booked next week for two days...I'll be checking out of the hotel next week, staying with a friend, and then checking back into the hotel afterwards.

Well, my friend who helps me with stuff like finding apartments, getting my visa, and other stuff like that called this morning and explained that the apartment isn't going to work out. CSI and I will be living in the hotel after all.

Lessons in being flexible when living overseas.

He called back several hours later and said, "There may be another change of plans. Mrs. Wise (the local friend who had hooked us up with the first apartment that ended up falling through) feels terrible about yall living in a hotel, so she found another apartment for you today...and her husband is driving over to the hotel right now to pick you guys up to go look at it." Alrighty then. This is an extended lesson in being flexible.

Mr. Wise shows up and takes us to this place. Besancon is built kind of in a round valley surrounded by hills, and so he just keeps going up and up and up. It's far enough up and away from the city that it really felt like we were out in the country. I teased him and said, "This place is so country I could be at your place!" (He lives on a farm.) He laughed and said it was true.

We found the front door to the house, and I could see through the glass front door that there was someone inside through a door that was cracked open on the inside. I told Mr. Wise there was someone in there, but every time he knocked the person didn't even move. He knocked louder, but no response. He finally opened the door and just walked right in! Turns out the woman who I'd seen sitting there was a little on the deaf side, so she never heard him knocking. And man alive! did Mr. Wise ever give her a fright!

The Madame had to be in her 70's or 80's. I mean, Mr. Wise is 65 and she was definitely way older than him! As I said, she was a little on the deaf side, so this was the first time I'd ever heard two French people speaking to one another with raised voices but not arguing. It was clear, however, that she was not expecting us. She had food on the stove, the house was not tidied up to show to prospective renters, and well, she wasn't dressed for guests.

Mr. Wise explains that his wife had called earlier about an apartment for two young ladies. The Madame looks at me and says, "I didn't speak with you about two young ladies. One lady is coming tomorrow at 7."

"No ma'am, you didn't speak with me. You spoke with his wife."

"But you are supposed to come tomorrow."

Mr. Wise explained that she had spoken with his wife just an hour ago about us coming now, not tomorrow. He showed her the paper he had with all her info, and said, "Is this your name? (Yes.) Is this your address? (Yes.) Is this your address? (Yes.) Then you spoke with my wife. About these two young ladies."

Again she looks at me and says, "I didn't speak with you about you coming today."

Mr. Wise, "No. YOU. SPOKE. WITH. MY. WIFE."

So add to deaf that she's at least forgetful if not a little senile. Oh boy. Could make for an interesting renting experience...and plenty of blog fodder...

The Madame shrugs her shoulders and says, "Well, you're here now. I suppose I can show you the place now instead of tomorrow. It's not this building (thank goodness, thinks CSI and I), but another building with it's own separate entrance. It's my husbands office."

Mr. Wise interjects, "Does your husband still use the office?"

"No...he died 55 years ago in an accident." She explains to us how to get to the other house while she goes to get dressed. I translate to CSI what just happened, while Mr. Wise mumbles about how old she must be that he died 55 years ago?!

As she begins to show us the apartment, it becomes clear that it is too small for both CSI and me together (there was only one twin bed), but even worse than being too far away, rented by a half-deaf slightly senile woman, and being too small without enough beds... It's a communal living apartment, so one of the bedrooms is rented to a male professor at the university, and the top floor (which had a separate bathroom but no kitchen) was rented to five men who only stay there on the weekends...and don't clean up after themselves. So we'd be living with one man during the week and six men on the weekends...while the two of us shared a twin bed.

So while it was an adorably cute location with much, um, character, it just wasn't practical for us. So...we'll be continuing to live in the hotel that partners with our language school.

I saved the best part for last about the Madame. You know when you have something stuck in your teeth, and you have to sort of suck/lick them to get them clean, and it makes an odd sound? She did that every 3-4 seconds for the good half-hour that we were with her. And since I just don't feel like I can adequately describe that sound for you with words...I made an audio visual example for you.