He has done great things!

Over the last several months, I spent part of my morning quiet time reading my old journals.  I started back with the very first one from my freshman year of college, and read through them chronologically.  All 19 years of them.

Through college.
Through the decision to move overseas the first time.
Through those bizarre and beautiful two years in Portugal.
Through the stretching years of grad school.
Through a summer in Sri Lanka, and another summer in India.
Through Turkey and the UAE.
Through the confusion of coming back to the US and wondering what to do next.
Through moving to France, and those first two years in Paris.
Through discovering Marseille was home and moving here to make it officially so.

Then...through the hard, hard, hard years of 2009-2012.
America.
North Africa.
Back in language school in eastern France.
A summer in Paris.
Finally in Marseille.
Finally settled.
Finally...content.

I laughed at how ridiculous I was in my younger years.  I didn't know I was ridiculous then, which makes me wonder if I'm still as ridiculous (and blind to it) now?  There were periods where my heart was so precious towards God...and times where it was cold as stone.  There were lessons I learned...and relearned...and relearned.  God apparently keeps giving me the same test until I can pass it. And with some tests, I don't know if I have yet, unfortunately.

I saw how earnestly I sought His will so many times about decisions I made.  Often, I've wondered if I made right decisions along the way, but now, after reading those journals...I see that I truly sought His will.  I believe that He truly did guide each step of the way, and so it's given a renewed confidence that I am exactly where He intended me to be...even if it isn't where I imagined I would be back when I was writing the earlier journals.

Reading through the years leading up to this year's return to France was difficult.  I cried new fresh tears for the hurt that brought tears back then.  I wondered, again, what went wrong a few times.  What was the point of that particular pain?  I'll probably never know in this lifetime.  I see more fully the truth  of Romans 5:3-5, "...We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that sufferings produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."  I can rejoice that those three years produced endurance (I got back on the plane to return to France, didn't I?), and character...and oh how that gives me hope.  This year, I've seen it: God's love poured into my heart.

As I read through the last six months, I was amazed to see just how rich and deep and good it has been since my return.  I just overwhelmed with gratitude for His goodness to me.

I truly relate to the psalmist who said, "He has done great things for us!"

Psalm 126

When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion,
    we were like those who dream.
² Then our mouth was filled with laughter,
    and our tongue with shouts of joy;
then they said among the nations,
    “The Lord has done great things for them.”
³ The Lord has done great things for us;
    we are glad.

⁴ Restore our fortunes, O Lord,
    like streams in the Negeb!
⁵ Those who sow in tears
    shall reap with shouts of joy!
⁶ He who goes out weeping,
    bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy,
    bringing his sheaves with him.