Electrodash, where the Party is Running.

A few weeks ago, one of the Handson girls said that she wanted to run in the Electrodash 5K that was coming up in a few weeks, which none of us had heard of.  We looked up the website, and several of us decided that we thought it would be fun.  I don't run, and neither does S of the Africa girls, so we agreed we would walk it while A and Down Under ran it.  Those of you who know me ought to be as shocked as I am at my willingness to pay money to participate in this event.

{It would entail a 6000+ person crowd.}  I don't like crowds.

{It was a 5K.}  I don't run.

{It would have blaring techno music.}  I don't like blaring and I don't like techno.

But would come with {florescent jewelry and sunglasses}, so that makes it all worth it.  Who doesn't like to glow in the dark every once in awhile?

We signed up, and immediately the entertainment began once we received our registration letter.  Instead of me translating the entire thing for the others, I just pasted it into Google Translate out of laziness.  I'm so glad I did.  Here's what it said.

"Congratulations. You just make the best decision of the year! And yes, you now have much more important things on your "to do list" that worry you feeding the dog, to be paid next Friday or to choose the right filter for your last photo Instagram: This year you will do feast on 5 km! You're going ElectroDasher to be precise.

Prepare yourself. It is not a small party in the neighbor's yard or a small jogging Sunday around the block. We talk to you ElectroDash the best thing that happened to a dark room since Edison.

Because you take the right decisions in life, you do now part of the chosen few who will have the honor of participating in Saturday's ElectroDash on April 18, 2015.

You have registered the wave of departure 09:00 PM Wave No. 3, the most cosmic of all. But as for energy saving bulbs, you must provide a warm-up time! So make sure you get good 45 minutes before your departure time to charge up your batteries before the big show.

A portion of the profits will be donated to the ElectroDash MARSEILLE - EUROMEDITERRANEE Euroméditerranée, so thank you for your contribution!

Do not forget to check our FAQ and Information on the Run page to learn what to expect on the big day because come unprepared can bring you to the worst disappointments that Jennifer Lawrence and problems cloud!

Read well the landfill and sign it. We work hard to make you live the experience of your life.

Soon for the race Saturday, April 18, 2015! The Team ElectroDash"

(If you've ever wondered what I sound like when I speak French, just imagine the grammatical mistakes above with an Alabama accent trying to sound like Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast and voila! You have me.)

Anyway, we never did understand what Jennifer Lawrence had to do with it, but we made sure to read well the landfill (disclaimer) and sign it. Let me tell you: they sure did work hard to give us the experience of our life. We had no idea what was in store.

A few days before the race, we received an email with a "map" of the race. You can see it below. No landmarks, just lots of florescent stuff. Okay.

The email told us that we needed to come the day before to pick up our running kits or we would have to pay 3 extra euros to get the kits on the day of the race.  The Africa girls went...along with all the other 6000+ participants.  And you know how the French love their paperwork?  They had a list of all team names/participants and only six people working the tables to give out the kits and check names off.  No computers.  No system.  Just 1 volunteer for every 1000 people wanting their t-shirts and glo-sticks.  The Africa girls decided to skip that and went the next day and their English overwhelmed the volunteer so much she didn't charge the 3 euros.

We had our kits.  Let the fun begin.  Temporary tattoos.

And lots of fun getting all our glo-gear ready.  Necklaces, bracelets, glasses...I'll run any race that helps me to accessorize!

As we were about to leave my building, we saw our neon selves in the reflection of the lobby door.  Do we look cool or what?

So I read and understood today that we could have gotten there hours earlier to "warm up" with the other racers.  "Warm up" means dance to techno music led by a rabbit mascot (who, I unfortunately didn't get his photo, but I promise I'm not making any of this up), and drink enough beer from the race bar that I don't feel cold anymore.  Here we are, some of the few sober race participants:

We joined the wave group we were signed up to start with and marveled at so much around us.  One, that the start sign to a race in France was marked in English.  Two, that so many people were drinking and smoking before embarking on a 5k run.  Seriously, smoking.  It was one of our first hints that this Electrodash was not about running.  As if all the costumes hadn't given that away.

We'd hear the announcer count down, the crowd would advance about 10 steps, and then everyone would stop.  We finally figured out that they were only letting a small group take off at a time.  About 10 different times we'd do that: count down, run about 10 steps, stop.  Everyone made sure to take selfies all along the way.

We finally made it to the Start Arch.  S and I had agreed to run a bit at the beginning, so as not to get run over by the take-off, and then walk the rest.  We ran all the rainbow arches and actually continued all the way to the Cathedral Major.

That's really the only touristy thing we saw the whole way.  When I picture 5K in a touristy town on the Med, I imagine that we'd see pretty things like the Cathedral Major.  We did see that.

And then we saw the "Florescent Columns."  Right about here is where we also saw a group of runners dressed as large bananas.  I so wish I'd gotten a picture of that.

Next came the "Florescent Plants."

Also known as giant blow up plastic flowers.  Here is where we began to see the almost naked people.  I'm so glad I didn't get any pictures of that.

The "map" says that we went through some "florescent arches" but I don't remember that.  I was so enthralled with the craziness going on all around me that I really didn't notice the florescent blow up plastic stuff, until we rounded a corner and saw the "Florescent Forest."  

Also known as the "Selfie Stairs."

Yes, those are grown men wearing hot pink tutus.  Apparently neon colored tutus is what everyone wears to the Electrodash.  We missed that memo.  And we still hadn't seen Jennifer Lawrence.

We were already laughing and having such a good time by this point.  I'd taken my neon bunny ears off so they wouldn't fall, and I'm sort of sad I forgot to put them back on for this photo so I could look half as cool as S.

The Mexican Cheerleaders.  There were about four of them, all wearing sombreros, carrying a Mexican flag, and cheering people on to "arriba!" and "ándale!".  They'd stand in a spot for awhile and then run ahead and continue cheering.  We passed them several times.

We rounded a corner from the Florescent Forest (seriously, was I in CandyLand?!) and to our surprise saw everyone going into the mall.  Surely not.  Oh, but how real this was.  Was it because the escalators were already lit up with florescent lights?  I have no idea why, but it immediately became one of the funniest things I've ever experienced in Marseille.

A and Down Under, who ran the whole thing, except the mall, because you couldn't, took this photo of themselves in the mall.  They said it was a bummer because there were so many people you simply couldn't run, so it slowed them down, but hey...they got a breather right in the middle of the race.

S and I followed the crowds which went by the fine dining restaurants where some people were trying to have nice romantic dinners which were disrupted by 6000+ people dressed like idiots running by.  Out on the terrace we stopped for a selfie.  

You wanna know what French people do in the middle of 5K race?  They stop for a cigarette.  That's what this entire group did.  Mind blowing.

We were laughing so hard by the time we got back inside the mall.  These people were crazy.  Seriously one of the most fun moments I've ever experienced in Marseille.

The line for the escalators was long, and the going up side would yell one cheer from the local soccer team (OM) while the going down side would respond, much like "We've got spirit yes we do, we've got spirit how about you?!"

I marveled at that point that of all the beautiful places this race in a Mediterranean city could have been run, the organizers opted to take us through the mall.  Oh Marseille, where weird is the new black.

While we were waiting, S noticed the large interactive TV screens, where you could choose a costume, take your picture with your head over the costume and immediately post it to Facebook.  This guy chose a traditional Muslim man's gown.  Goodness me.

I've never taken so many selfies in one night!  We also missed the memo that we were supposed to write our team name on our t-shirts.  We called ourselves Tea and Trains, because we decided to do this thing while we were at the tea salon, and we normally meet on Sunday nights to play trains.

Back outside of the mall, we went through the construction zone of the Docks, past the "Florescent Planets" and headed back towards the Finish line, which was right next to the Start line.  We agreed to run the rainbow again at the end.

There was such a crowd at the Finish line that you couldn't quite get across it victoriously.  Again, nothing about this race had to do with running a race.  Still, it was my first 5K.  And while I didn't run the entire thing, I did run IN it.

We met up with the 2 who did run it start to finish and compared stories of the mall and the crazy people they saw.  Also, apparently in France, immediately after a race, you head straight to the bar for more beer.  We opted out.

The rainbows and the Cathedral on the way home.

The MuCem all lit up at night, which I'd never see it like that before.  So beautiful.  Such a sweet way to end the night.

Am I glad I did it?  You betcha.  Would I do it again?  You betcha.  With a hot pink tutu!  Will I sign up for more 5K's from this point forward.  You betcha.  That was one great time, and worth every penny.  Those organizers who worked so hard to give me the experience of my life gave me at least one good one.  All because they chose to take us through the mall.

If only I'd met Jennifer Lawrence like they promised.  Maybe I should have read better the landfill.