Surreality

It was a surreal morning.

Email, while such a blessing to keep me connected with my life back home, stirred odd emotions about that very life back home. Just this week...

My beloved brother has shingles. My great granddaddy passed away. My grandmother went into surgery. A precious friend is pregnant. Another friend about to give birth. Daily letters from yet another friend, who I wish I could go see Phantom with in person.

Like a magnetic pull, the desire to be there wars with the contentment of being here. I sat in my room on the fourth floor this morning with my journal and coffee, thinking through the surreality of all that I'd left behind to be here. The email this morning with the photo (and resulting news) of a positive pregnancy test was almost enough to put me on a plane back to the US...yet something compels me to stay, and realize that staying and being here is okay. Faith pulled me to this place, and must be a stronger magnet than all that my heart is drawn to in the US.

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him."

In the absence of all those who I love, I cling to the faith that has brought me to this place, earnestly seeking Him. The surreality came in realizing that this brought comfort and joy in being here, on a day when I thought I'd rather be elsewhere.