December Daily {:6:} Cold, Coffee, Grace [Updated]

Point number one about today: It's mistrally out.

Mistrally is a word I made up.  It the adjective form of "mistral," which are the crazy cold arctic winds that make winter in Marseille unbrrrrrrable.

See, that says that it's 50 degrees out.  But notice the two things under that: (1) that it feels like 43 degrees, and (2) the winds are blowing at 26mph.  Those winds are arctic, y'all.  Cold.  Bitter.  So if, while it was sunny, it felt like 43, you can rest assured that 38 will feel, well, arctic.  Like there's a polar bear growling outside.  It's so mistrally that I can hear the wind in my concreted-up fireplace.  Brrr.

Point number two about today: Life's hard sometimes.

I was at the Center, working on some stuff for my quilting class, and I was there all alone.  There was a knock at the door, and so I opened it and greeted the man outside.  He told me that he'd come by before, he knew the people who worked here, and could he come in and have a cup of coffee?  I explained that he couldn't come in at the moment, but if he passed back by in about an hour, he'd be welcome to come in and have some coffee.

The conversation went downhill from there.  He explained that he was homeless and that he'd come in before to have coffee, why couldn't he come in this time?  I explained that I'd be happy to make him a cup of coffee and give it to him to take with him, but that he couldn't come in at the moment.  He finally left in a huff, ranting about how he was going to tell everyone that we weren't even kind enough to welcome him in on a cold day to give him a warm cup of coffee, and that we assume the worst about people.

Well.  On one hand...

• It's a community focused association that wants to reach out to everyone, and thus, when we're open...inviting him in to have a cup of coffee is exactly our goal.
• We will one day have an up and running coffee shop where it will be easy to offer coffee...but as of yet we're not up and running.  But we don't want to turn away people in need simply because we don't have a coffee machine yet.
• As a Christian, who wants to give Jesus a cup of water by giving a cup of coffee to a homeless man...inviting him in to have a cup of coffee is exactly my own goal, when it's within my abilities.

On the other hand...

• I was alone, as a woman, in a center in a slightly not-exactly-safe neighborhood.  Therefore, I didn't see inviting him in as within my abilities.

There was no way I was going to let him in.  When I told the director about it later, she told me that I 100% made the right and wisest decision.  I agree with her that I did, but still... When you're wanting to live out the gospel and you have to turn away someone on a cold day for safety's sake...it's discouraging.  How do "taking up our cross and following Jesus" and making decisions based one what's safest go hand in hand?  Just some of the deep thoughts on my mind tonight.

Point number three about today: I am blessed.

Unlike that man, I came home to my warm apartment and a yummy bowl of hot soup.  I don't have to sleep out in that hard cold world tonight.  I got to Skype with Sue-Wee and her precious little ones.  (By the way, Sue-Wee, your memory is astounding.)  Tonight I am thankful for grace: that I get a home and food when I don't deserve it, that I get friends that stick with me through the years when I don't deserve them, that I get to relax and quilt and watch a movie while others have to get to bathe babies and pick up legos or stress over job issues or sleep in the cold.  

I don't know why I get such grace, but I do.

[Update]
A few minutes after I posted this, I heard a series of big booms outside.  BIG BOOMS.  Like cannons going off, or fireworks being shot, or bombs exploding.  I threw open the windows, looked around, and figured out the booms were coming from the Panier (the oldest part of the city, on top of the hill to the right of my building, a stone's throw away).  There were major flashes of light accompanying the booms, and I'll be honest--it freaked me out.

No sirens followed suit.  No one stopped walking down the street to turn and look.  No one seemed in a panic, even a slight one.  I shut the window in confusion.

Then I remembered as I was eating my soup: it's December 6th.  That's when Santa Claus arrives in France (and other European countries).  His sled must've had some sparks, or something... I'm going to assume that the booms were some part of a Saint Nick celebration up on the hill.  Merry Christmas everyone.